I've been moving working, sleeping, working, moving, sleeping. Losing my social life. although it's kind of good that I've been taking it easy on the booze cause God knows I would have abused it and that scares the hell out of me.
The past couple of weeks have gone good overall though. I've been hanging out with Mel a lot and I learned that i like the chill life style rather than the got out and get drunk at bars life style all the time. I saw a good friends that I truly missed dearly. I'm living in Wheaton now, it's nice to have a nice quiet place to be. I don't dread going home anymore. I have my own space although it's a little lonely at times I'm glad I'm here.I feel more healthy but really guilty. It was easy to move to Kenosha cause it was harder to go home. But it's only a 30 minute drive from here. Everytime I see my Grandparents I wonder if it's gonna be the last time, it breaks my heart everytime my Grandma tells me it's a mircle that I let myself be seen. I don't know why I'm venting so much here maybe it's good maybe it's bad, either way I could care less.
It's getting closer to fall semester and I'm getting nervous, what if I'm not good enough, what if i can't afford it. How am I gonna make this happen? It's all running through my head I got to get it together. The sad part is I'm not scared about the actual learning and getting certified it's the financial burden on top of my carthage bill...it's gonna be ridiculous. I need a loan but I'm sure I won't get one. Negativity, god damn negativity I'm full of it. One thing is for sure the limited is not gonna get in my way of my career.
Love interest? he's there :) Before I reveal him I want to make sure it's for sure...be patient.
love and peace out!
"given a chance
i wanna be somebody
if for one dance
i wanna be somebody
open the door
it's gonna make you love me
facing the door
i wanna be somebody"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
That's such a good song. Good CD. Good everything.
ReplyDeleteMarisol, I have no doubt in the world that you'll make it through the summer and through to fall semester. I know what you mean... its scary to financially commit yourself, even if you're not sure if you're mentally committed. But, with whatever happens, I have faith that you'll do well for yourself.
Lets go to Borders and look at EMT and nursing books. :D
I know you'll do amazing honey. Just have confidence in yourself and don't let excuses get in your way. I'm rooting for you always. And I'm here for you if you ever stumble on your way to greatness.
ReplyDeleteI'll be patient, but I want to hear the good news eventually. :) It's nice to vent on the web sometimes...just gotta let things out. Every time I visit my grandparents, I worry that it'll be for the last time. :( I've been wavering between drinking more and being social or drinking less and trying to be 'more healthy'. It's nice to have a good time with friends as long as it doesn't affect other parts of my life negatively....
ReplyDelete